Parental Conflict - Support in Dealing With It Effectively and Respectfully

Parental Conflict can be a risk to the healthy development of children if it is not responded to effectively and in a way which shows that conflict can be resolved. 

Conflict is inevitable in any family but where it is frequent and repetitive and has perhaps escalated to verbal abuse and even violence then it becomes increasingly stressful for all members of the family. 

"While periodic conflict between couples is natural, and something which most children will be exposed to at some point in their lives without necessarily experiencing adverse effects, couple conflict which is frequent, intense and poorly resolved is very harmful, research indicates." Tavistock Relationships 

CAOS Conflict Management provides support for families where parental conflict is proving difficulty to resolve effectively and respectfully, particularly in situations that are post-separation or divorce and parental conflict arises over issues such as custody and parenting arrangements for children. 

Courts are increasingly recommending or directing parents to make use of conflict resolution and conflict management support and at CAOS we are experienced in providing support in both. 

To support conflict resolution we provide both mediation and conflict coaching support. Mediation in this context would not be like the mediation available during the divorce process which will be focused on how to arrange financial separation and establish custody arrangements and parenting plans etc.

The mediation we provide would be solely focused on supporting parents with improving the ways in which they relate and communicate and respond to conflict within their parenting relationship, whether this is post-separation/divorce or in families where separation is not intended but there are continued difficulties with resolving conflict. 

Conflict coaching is another option for supporting individual parents who are finding it difficult to handle conflict situations effectively and find such situations frustrating, disempowering, depressing or perhaps they find themselves becoming destructively angry (because it is possible to express anger without being destructive). 

Conflict coaching is 1-to-1 support and can be arranged confidentially if necessary but it may be something that both parents decide would be useful for one or both of them. Conflict coaching is different to mediation in that it is not intended that the participant moves on to have a joint mediation meeting but instead they work on their own ways of communicating and responding to difficulties and conflicts without recourse to using mediation. 

We can also create bespoke training or facilitation sessions for parents, including larger group sessions if that is the preferred option but we would normally recommend the mediation and conflict coaching sessions first as these help parents to work through their own personal conflict difficulties first of all. 

Please note that CAOS has trained practitioners based in various areas of the UK so please let us know of your interest in parental-conflict support even if you are not based in London. Fees quoted below are for London based services and these may vary in different parts of the country. 

What is the cost of parental conflict mediation and conflict coaching? 

Mediation

Initial Mediation Meeting to discuss your situation - held with each person separately. 

£55-£85 sliding scale (unwaged) or £75-£195 (waged) for a session lasting 1-2 hours.

Fees for Joint Mediation Meeting  per person

Sliding scale of fees £70-£100 (unwaged) or £105-£220 (waged) per person, lasting 2-3 hours. 

This meeting is held at a safe, neutral venue with just the mediator and the other family member mediation participants. There will usually be additional fees for the venue. 

Any second Joint Mediation Meeting will be charged to each participant at 20% less than the fee paid for the first one. 

All payments to be made at least 2 days in advance of any meeting.

For referring agencies, the fees for the service will be as follows: 

Initial Mediation Meeting: £195 per person

Joint Mediation Meeting 1: £380 per meeting involving 2 participants. If meeting involves more than 2 participants there will be an additional charge of £100 per person.

Joint Mediation Meeting 2: £304 per meeting plus £80 per each additional participant.

For 'whole family' meetings involving 4 or more people, please contact us to discuss fees. 

Conflict Coaching

There can be up to 3 Conflict Coaching sessions. The number is limited because the aim of conflict coaching is to help you become your own conflict coach rather than continue to attend the sessions for an unspecified number of times. Conflict Coaching is not like counselling because it is short-term and is specifically focused on helping you look at how you communicate and respond personally when involved in a parental conflict situation. 

Conflict Coaching can be held face-to-face but will probably then include some additional cost for travel, or it can be held via Skype or FaceTime. 

Sessions usually last 1½ hours and are charged on a sliding scale of fees £35-£60 (unwaged) or £65-£150 (waged) where you decide how much you wish to pay based on your earnings and circumstances. 

All payments to be made at least 2 days in advance of any session.

Bespoke Training Sessions

These can  be arranged for two parents or a group of parents. Please contact us to discuss what you are looking for in this situation. 

Please contact us on 020 3371 7507 to discuss having mediation or conflict coaching support for your parental conflict difficulties. 

Alternatively, please contact us on email via our Enquiry Form to find out more about our service.